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שיעורים לפי נושאים
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דבר תורה לפרשת קדושים – תוכחה מאהבה

בפרשת קדושים, 'פרשה שרוב גופי תורה תלויין בה', אנו מוצאים את הפסוקים שהם יסוד התורה כולה, פסוקים שמהווים את יסוד חיינו, כדברי הלל הזקן שאמר לאותו הגר שרצה ללמוד את התורה כולה על רגל אחת – מה ששנוא עליך אל תעשה לחברך, והשאר זה פירוש של הכלל היסודי הזה, ולאור הכלל הזה לך ולמד את התורה כולה.

את הפסוק עליו אמר רבי עקיבא שהוא הכלל הגדול בתורה, וכאשר הוא לא מתקיים אין קיום לתורה, ובשל אי קיומו נהרגו עשרים וארבע אלף תלמידי ר"ע במגיפה, הוא "לא תלך רכיל בעמך, לא תעמוד על דם רעך, אני ה'. לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך, הוכח תוכיח את אמיתך, ולא תשא עליו חטא. לא תיקום ולא תיטור את בני עמך, ואהבת לרעך כמוך, אני ה'". פסוק זה מהווה את היסוד לאיסור שנאת החינם שבגללה נחרב ביתנו וגלינו לאלפיים שנות גלות.

ננסה היום לראות את הפסוקים בהקשרם (על פי דרשתו הנפלאה של הרב אליעזר מלמד):

יש שרצו לומר שדווקא הרכילות ולשון-הרע הם שמאפשרים קיום חברה דתית, שהרי דווקא הידיעה, שאם תעשה דברים רעים, ידברו עליך, ירכלו עליך, היא הגורמת לאדם לא לצאת מהגבולות ולשמור על הנורמות, לכן, דווקא לשון הרע ורכילות הכרחיים לקיום ולשמירת החברה הדתית. אבל התורה מצווה אותנו הפוך 'לא תלך רכיל בעמך'.

כך ניתן לפרש גם את הפסוק 'לא תעמוד על דם רעך' – אל תהיה ממלביני הפנים, ממדברי לשון הרע, ששופכים את דם חבריהם.

אז מהי הדרך לשמירה על החברה? מהי הדרך שכל יחיד יושפע לטובה מחבריו – 'הוכח תוכיח את אמיתך' – כל מי שרואה בחבירו דבר גנאי מחוייב לומר לו, בשפה נעימה, מתוך רצון אמיתי וכנה לתקן. אין המטרה להלבין פניו ולביישו כפי שכתוב 'לא תשא עליו חטא', אלא להפנות את תשומת ליבו לקילקול והטעות.

אנו יודעים שהאדם רוצה לעשות טוב, אלא שלעיתים יש לחצים וטעויות והדרך שלנו לתמוך ולעזור היא 'הוכח תוכיח'. הכוונה בלהוכיח היא להראות את האמת, להסבירה ולחזקה. ולכן הדגש הוא 'לא תשא עליו חטא' – אין המטרה לבייש ח"ו, אלא להועיל ולקדם.

באופן הזה, התיקון הוא עמוק, הוא לא נורמה חברתית חיצונית אלא חתירה אמיתית לתיקון. כשהאדם שומע מחבריו דברים באופן מכבד, בדיסקרטיות, הוא חש שהדברים באים מאהבה גדולה והם מתקבלים על ליבו. וממילא התיקון איננו חיצוני, זהו תיקון שלא נובע מפחד ובושה אלא מרצון להיות טוב יותר.

מצוות התוכחה מוטלת על כל אחד, וכך כשהאדם שומע את התוכחה מעוד ועוד אנשים, ומבין שיש אמת וצדק בדבריהם, אזי אם רצונו לעשות טוב הוא יתקן את דרכיו.

זוהי הדרך לקיום חברת מופת, לא בשמירת נורמות חיצוניות, אלא בחתירה מתמדת לתיקון אמיתי.

והתורה מדגישה: 'לא תשנא את אחיך בלבבך' – אל תתמלא בשנאה, אלא אמור לו, כך וכך עשית לי. התוכחה היא התרופה לשנאה, אל תשמור בבטן – דבר בכנות, הוכח!

והיזהר, לא לנקום ולא לנטור טינה וכעס, אלא הוכח. ואם כך תנהג אזי תזכה להגיע למעלה העליונה – 'ואהבת לרעך כמוך!'

בשל מגבלות הזמן והמקום לא נכנסתי לכל הציווים בפרשה המשלימים את העניין, כדוגמת הציווי 'בצדק תשפוט עמיתך'- שהאדם מצווה לדון את חברו לכף זכות, להבין שוודאי רצונו לטוב.

כשנקיים את הדברים הפשוטים הללו, נזכה לחברת 'קדושים תהיו'.

יהי רצון שנתאזר גבורה, שכן בכדי להוכיח יש צורך להתגבר על אי הנעימות הכרוכה באמירת התוכחה, הן מצד הפגיעה האפשרית במוכח, והן כי האדם לא רוצה להראות קטנוני, ולעיתים כשיאמר לחברו שדבריו או מעשיו פגעו בו הוא עלול להיתפס כרגיש מדי… ויהי רצון שנזכה לסגל עין טובה, שהרי הבסיס לתוכחה הוא להבין ולהאמין שהחבר ודאי רוצה לעשות טוב ולהיות טוב, ולכן, יש מקום לדבר עימו ולהוכיחו. נוכיח את חברנו מאהבה גדולה, והם יקבלו זאת ויתקנו את דרכיהם, וגם אנו נזכה לתוכחות בונות, וכך נעלה ונתעלה עוד ועוד.

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