חיפוש במערכת החדשה
שיעורים לפי נושאים
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דבר תורה לפרשת עקב – מהות הנחמה

השבת הקרובה תהיה השנייה מתוך שבע שבתות הנחמה בהן אנו נקרא בהפטרות פרקי נחמה של נביאי ישראל לעמם לאחר השבר הנורא של החורבן.  ננסה לעמוד בקצרה על מהות הנחמה וזמן הופעתה.

מהות הנחמה

למילה נחמה שתי משמעויות בתורה. בסוף פרשת בראשית, כאשר הקב"ה רואה 'כִּי רַבָּה רָעַת הָאָדָם בָּאָרֶץ וְכָל יֵצֶר מַחְשְׁבֹת לִבּוֹ רַק רַע כָּל הַיּוֹם', הוא מתנחם על שברא את האדם. כלומר הנחמה היא חרטה על מעשה שהיה בעבר עקב מחשבה שלמפרע מתברר שאינה נכונה.

בנוסף, כאשר לאחר פטירת יעקב, האחים חשש שיוסף ינצל את ההזדמנות לנקום בהם על מכירתם אותו, אך יוסף הפתיע אותם והחליט לפעול אחרת – "וַיְנַחֵם אוֹתָם וַיְדַבֵּר עַל לִבָּם". כלומר, נחמה היא הפגשת צער, עוגמת נפש וחשש.

מה המכנה המשותף בין שתי המשמעויות הללו?

על כך מסביר הרש"ר הירש (בראשית, נ כ):

"והצד השוה שבשתיהן, שהן מורות על שינוי בדעתו של אדם. עד כה היה סבור אדם שהדין עמו, אולי גם התגאה במעשיו, והנה הוא רואה לפתע כי עשה עוול, ועליו להתבייש בו: הרי חרטה. בדומה לכך, אין נחמה אלא זו המשכנעת את האבל ש"גם זו לטובה", לא כנחמת הבבלים: "מאי איכא למיעבד", עלינו להיכנע לגזירת הגורל

(בבא קמא לח ע"א)…"

באופן פשוט- נחמה משנה את מחשבתו של האדם לתפיסה אחרת. המתחרט, מעדיף לשנות את אשר כבר נעשה. אך המנחם את האבל, כיצד הוא בדיוק משנה את תפיסתו? שלא יצטער על מתו?!

הרש"ר מסתמך על הגמרא בבא קמא (לח.):

"רב שמואל בר יהודה שכיבא ליה ברתא אמרו ליה רבנן לעולא קום ניזל נינחמיה אמר להו מאי אית לי גבי נחמתא דבבלאי דגידופא הוא דאמרי מאי אפשר למיעבד הא אפשר למיעבד עבדי אזל הוא לחודאי גביה"

עולא לא רצה ללכת לנחם בתחילה את רב שמואל בר יהודה שנפטרה בתו, כיוון שהבבלים היו אומרים מתוך צערם: "מאי איכא למעיבד" – מה ניתן לעשות למנוע את פטירת המנוח, ומבין עולא שאם היה ניתן להם לעשות אז היו משנים את החלטת הקב"ה, ויש כאן מעין גידוף כלפי מעלה שלא מסכימים עם החלטת הבורא!

ואכן, עקרון אמוני זה נפסק להלכה בשולחן ערוך (שעו ב):

"ואל יאמר אדם לאבל "מה לך לעשות כי אי אפשר לשנות" שזהו כגידוף דמשמע הא אם אפשר לשנות היה עושה אלא יקבל עליו גזירת הש"י מאהבה"

אז מה אם כן הנחמה הרצויה?

נחמה המעוררת אמונה

מסביר הרש"ר באופן הבא:

" נחמה אמתית מעוררת אמונה: אילו יכולנו לסקור ולבחון את התנאים הקיימים, כדרך שהקב"ה סוקר ובוחן אותם, לא היינו משנים את הדבר, גם אילו יכולנו "

נחמה נכונה צריכה להעלות את אמונת האדם עד להצדקת מעשי הבורא אף שאיננו ברי הכי להבין את המחשבה שקדמה למעשה – "הַצּוּר תָּמִים פָּעֳלוֹ כִּי כָל דְּרָכָיו מִשְׁפָּט אֵל אֱמוּנָה וְאֵין עָוֶל צַדִּיק וְיָשָׁר הוּא" (דברים לב,ד).

אולם, אין צורך להתעלם מהרגשת צער האבל, כך נבראנו, ואין לטשטש את נטייתנו הטבעית. יתרה מזו, חז"ל מלמדים כי כל הלכות אבלות נוסדו על מנת לתת ביטוי ראוי לצער ולבכי, וכל מי שאינו מתאבל כראוי נקרא אכזרי[1]. אך לאחר סערת הרגשות, צריך לשאוף להעלות את מדרגתנו השכלית ולהבין כי העולם מתנהל ע"פ החלטת הבורא.

וכך מלמדנו הרב קוק כי שני שלבים להליך האבל, בתחילה הרגש משתלט, ולאחריו השכל יוכל להיפגש עם ההכרה כי זוהי החלטת הבורא.

"…מאורעות האבל, שפלות ידים של הדהמה ואנינות, הכל נמצא במערכת הרגש… אל חזיון של השארת הנפש לא יוכל כל כך מהר לעלות… אבל סוף כל סוף מהר יעבור רוח חדש, וישלם נחומים, הזיק השכלי יצא ממחבואו…" (אורות הקודש (א, פ):

שבע שבתות הנחמה מטרתן אחת היא – לעורר את האמונה בתהליך האלוקי במישור הכללי. ומשם נוכל להבין מהי מטרת הנחמה גם במישור הפרטי.

" כִּי נִחַם יְהוָה צִיּוֹן נִחַם כָּל חָרְבֹתֶיהָ וַיָּשֶׂם מִדְבָּרָהּ כְּעֵדֶן וְעַרְבָתָהּ כְּגַן יְהוָה שָׂשׂוֹן וְשִׂמְחָה יִמָּצֵא בָהּ תּוֹדָה וְקוֹל זִמְרָה" (הפטרת עקב, ישעיהו מט)

 

 

 

[1] מסכת מועד קטן (כז ע"ב): "שלושה לבכי, ושבעה להספד, ושלושים לגיהוץ ולתספורת. מכאן ואילך אמר הקב"ה: אי אתם רחמנים יותר ממני". וכן על פי שולחן ערוך (שצד, ג): "כל מי שאינו מתאבל כלל כמו שצוו חכמים – הרי זה אכזרי, והיא אינה דרך התורה…".

שיעורים אחרונים:

בלנית, כן או לא?

טהרת הטבילה במים אחד האירועים המרגשים והמשמחים בחיי הזוגיות הוא ליל הטבילה, בו שבים בני הזוג לשמוח יחד בחיבור גופני המצטרף לחיבור

מאחורי הטומאה והטהרה

⬅ כיצד טומאה באה לביטוי בימינו?
⬅ האם ניתן למצוא טעם במצוות הטהרה והטומאה?
⬅ האם יש קשר בין חיים לטהרה ובין טומאה למוות?
⬅ התרחקות ככלי לחידוש הקשר הזוגי
⬅ מה מקור ההבדל בין טומאת נידה לטומאת לידה?

נגיעה בעריות, מתי אסורה ומתי מותרת

מקורות הדין בספרא אחרי מות פרשה ט, יג, מבואר שלא רק גילוי עריות אסור, אלא גם קרבה אל העריות אסורה (אלא שלא

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